“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.” -Amy Bloom "Yes, Chelsea, you are the most beautiful woman in the world, I couldn't even imagine a more beautiful woman if I tried." "Oh Prince Charming! I..." *beep, beep, beep, BEEP, BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* Dream's over. Wake up. Time to go pick up some dog [...]
"As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; [...]
“There is no better friend than a sister, and no better sister than you.” -Anon To My Sister, You are absolutely bonkers, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. “You’ve been on my mind Sister, we’re two of a kind.” Today I thought of us when we were in primary school. You a new [...]
"Comparison is the thief of joy." -I have no idea "Hi, I've just stepped in dog poop." I'm already on the floor cleaning up a puddle of dog wee. I look up and a man is towering over me like I am his servant. "Someone's dog pooped in the shop, it wasn't my dog! But [...]
So I bust out my best 80's dance moves, the sprinkler, the running man, the kriss kross, the worm. Look, if they're going to make a singer dance, they're going to have to deal with these moves, they brought it on themselves. I aggressively robot my way out of this situation.
"It's incurable." "Bullshit". *Mic drop *Saunters off stage like Beyoncé
"Here I spend my days juggling my day job and my career and having people talk to me like I have no higher education and probably dropped maths. I did drop maths. That's not the point."